Ted Tanner, I’ll wear a tutu if I have to…
~ David Benson
David Benson and Your Narrator at AWS Re-Invent 2015 (photo courtesy of Sim)
First i hope everyone is safe.
Second, this blog took much longer to get out than I expected. Of late, I have had several negative personal situations happen simultaneously. Situations and events that are negative seem or appear to happen in clusters. There must be some psychological word for this perceptual creation. Then again it could be a resonant issue in the universe that i am creating.
Of recent events, for those who know me, the plane crash into DCA hit one network hop away. The immediate family is okay, and we brought home a national medal in the US Figure Skating Novice Pairs. My sincere condolences to all of the families.
Third and of the utmost importance and much reverence, one of my dear friends has passed which occurred right in the middle of so many other occurrences.
David Benson was a son, a husband, and a father. He was also a dear friend who some of you knew personally and professionally.
He passed away due to brutally overwhelming liver cancer. He died a day after his 49th birthday, which is the most important holiday as far as I am concerned.
I had previously talked to him about a month and a half prior as he and his amazing superwomen wife, Jen Benson, were driving south to Cancun, where he was extremely stoked to be creating yet another company. He was a true entrepreneur. He was telling me all about it and how his cancer had gone into remission. I used to tell him instead of saying goodbye, I would say, “Don’t let them get you. They can’t get US!” Then, once over the past year, after much prodding and me asking he didn’t seem “right” to me he told me he had cancer. I adding ” i love you”.
As a man i believe we have three basic “things” we provide if we have a family: Physical Security, Financical Security and Mental Security. i call this the Male Trilogy. In most cases you get two out of someone not three. He had all three.
For those who have a problem with that and think that it reduces the alpha/sigma machismo, please, I’d like to have a word with you in private—five minutes alone, as the song goes, if you know it. I bet you haven’t lived loud enough to understand what it means between men.
David and I met in 2005, when he and Josh Kline were working on digital rights management associated with a global identifier for media called ISAN. We ended up traveling all over the world to some very nice places and worked together on some very cool projects.
As I wrote this piece, I realized that 20 years had passed in the blink of an eye. The days are long, and the years are short.
As time went on, instead of being in the entrepreneurship orbit, we became very close friends separated by the left and right coasts.
Some time ago, i had both of my hips replaced, and David was calling to check on me before and after the surgeries. Before the surgeries, i was all but crippled.
After the surgeries he said that his super wife could fix me. i told him my days of lifting heavy things, paddling into heaving slabs and freediving etc i think might be over but i am open to anything.
She ended up saving my life, both mentally and physically, and i can never thank them enough.
In addition to saving me and allowing me to do what i love, David did some things over the year that maybe one day i might talk about but suffice to say he did some things both professionally and personally i can never repay.
He was the originator of the quote at the top of this blog, which I now constantly utilize.
I’ll never forget the day he said the quote:
We were discussing how far one should go when creating a company to get product market fit and generate cash flow positive revenue.
Me: “i don’t think people really understand the magnitude of making your own company. It will tell you a lot about yourself.”
David: “Well Ted Tanner i know one thing it is part of us and what we do and I’ll wear a f***ing tutu if i have to complete with lipstick. Choose the shade i have a whole box!”
I still laugh. i say it almost once a week to someone. Do what it takes and wear a tutu if you have to get the job done.
David and Your Narrator out-da-back. (photo courtesy of Superwomen)
Fast forward to about a month ago and i got a call from him. He said “goose” ( i never asked him why he called me goose) he said the cancer has come back and I’m having problems. i said whatever you need, man, and know that no matter what happens, I’ll take care of everything as much as I possibly can in the future.
He texted me a week later and said he wanted me to come out to say goodbye. i texted him back but i didn’t here from him and he would always text or call me right back. i knew something was wrong. I was managing several concerns, as mentioned at the beginning of this blog, professionally and personally. i knew i had to make the call that was going to rock me and that was to Jen Benson. i called her on a sunday two weeks ago and asked if i needed to come out and she said he might not make it. i hung up dropped everything and make reservations to come see him.
i arrived and was taken back how far things had gotten in one month as we always utilized video for phone calls.
i sat down and made a joke about how far he would go to have sex with me. He laughed.
Then we were sitting there by ourselves in his den. He said ” i can go now.”
Remember when i mentioned the male trilogy? While we are all Sisyphus, at some point in time, the rock rolled backward over me when he whispered that to me. Stay solid, i was saying to myself.
He waited to go after his sons made him a birthday cake.
David is survived by his amazing, beautiful superwoman wife Jen, Oliver, a music virtuoso, and Tyler, a cook and clothing designer extraordinaire. To them, I will always support you, listen to you, and protect you.
He is also survived by his amazing parents gary and genie as well as his brother Andrew. Other notable folks are Greg, Natalie, Jeremy, Elon, Sean and of course Sim. In the comments feel free to add anyone else.
Note: i wrote a piece a while back entitled It is an honor to say goodbye. <- click here. it describes the feeling of grief as a never ending fractal. The last thing i said to him as i kissed him on the head was “I’ll be seeing you in your tutu. i love you”.
Until Then,
#iwishyouwater <- salt mines bonaire
Ted ℂ. Tanner Jr. (@tctjr) / X
Note: Both David and Jen love the water in fact David was a rescue scuba diver and had some amazing stories. Birds of a feather they say.
Music To Blog By: David Loved Bob Marley, Allman Brothers etc.